1. Hate on Zoey Deschanel in 500 Days of Summer.
2. Call your favorite ex-girlfriend and remind her of a special time you once shared, like the first time you hugged.
3. Love yourself. Keep yourself company (need a mirror).
4. Flirt with a stranger. Preferably one that is fertile.
5. Take a walk around the Charles. There are other pretty things besides love.
6. Don’t wear red.
7. Invite other single people over for companionship. It’s better if they’re good looking.
8. Sit on your hand until it falls asleep. Write yourself a Valentine.
9. Take yourself on a breakfast date to Ihop!
10. Walk up to a couple that is having a lovely day, ask if you can tag along.
11. If you start to get depressed, simply promise yourself this: I will not be alone on Valentine’s Day next year. This does not have to be a promise you keep. It’s simply a morale thing.
12. Get yourself your favorite flavor of Burdick’s hot chocolate. I recommend white chocolate. Everybody hates white chocolate. Which means white chocolate hot chocolate prices are lower than ever!
13. Remind yourself that if your life continues in this way, you can always adopt.
