Rupert and Gwen sit in a waiting room,
reading magazines.
Rupert: Is
it someone you know or is it you that’s dying.
Gwen: Me.
Rupert: I
was thinking that but I thought it might be a case of me bringing my own bias
in cause I’m dying too.
Gwen: (laughs)
That happened to me with this really old man who I saw in here the other day, I
was like, “are you dying?” He was really offended. Turns out he was one of the
doctors.
Rupert: (laughs) What’s
killing you?
Gwen: Cancer.
Rupert: Same.
Gwen: (laughs)
it’s getting everyone these days.
Rupert: Yeah,
sometimes I wish I hadn’t been diagnosed. Then when I died people would just be
like, “He died. Cause he was human. Cause that’s what humans do.”
Gwen: Instead
its “He lost his battle to cancer.” Which really only adds to death the shame of defeat in battle.
Rupert: You
got any relatives?
Gwen: The
usual. Two parents. Four grandparents.
Rupert: Here
with you?
Gwen: Dead.
All dead.
Rupert: I’m
sorry. That’s a lot of dead relatives. I guess it’s comforting knowing you’ll
see them in heaven.
Gwen: Yeah.
It is. But I’m also an atheist.
Rupert: Me
too. I just never know what to say to people.
Gwen: I
always ask their religious beliefs and mould my answer based on that, “Like,
oh, shit, well, at least your dead dad gets to meet Allah.”
Rupert: You
ask right after they tell you they just lost someone?
Gwen: No.
Usually I sit in silence for a few minutes. Out of respect.
Rupert: I’m
sorry. I should have done that.
Gwen: That’s
alright. But yeah. Probably.
Rupert: How
long do you have left to live?
Gwen: Doctor
said six weeks. I said eight. To fuck with him. He got all nervous
thinking I misunderstood him. It was pretty funny. He's a nice guy. Always asks
how I'm doing, and I'm always like, "Dying. I'm dying."
Rupert: (laughs)
Hey for all you know, you might have two years left. They told me six months.
It's been eight. I am riding the gravy train!
Gwen: I
think about marriage a lot. I never got to get married. I never got to have
kids.
Rupert: You
also never got to have grandkids.
Gwen: I
also never got to have grandkids.
Rupert: Hey,
me neither, but on the flipside some grandkids murder their grandparents.
Gwen: Yeah!
I heard that story too! And with an axe! Pffff So fucked up.
Rupert: So
fucked up.
Gwen: I'm
glad I don't have grandkids.
Rupert: Hey,
do you want to get a drink after we both get done...you know...seeing the
doctor?
Gwen:
(smiles) I'd love that. Do you drink bourbon? I only drink bourbon.
Rupert:
Not really. Is that a problem?
Gwen: Yeah.
Rupert: ...
Gwen:
...
Rupert:
...
Gwen: I'm
joking.
Rupert:
(smiles) I was about to change my drinking habits for you.
Gwen:
How sweet.
Rupert: But
then I remembered how little time I have left to live and was like fuck
that.
Gwen: (laughs)
A lull. They both look down at their
magazines. Rupert looks at Gwen and smiles. Gwen looks up just as Rupert looks
down. She smiles and looks back down at her magazine.
