Waiting Room

Rupert and Gwen sit in a waiting room, reading magazines. 

Rupert: Is it someone you know or is it you that’s dying. 

Gwen: Me.

Rupert: I was thinking that but I thought it might be a case of me bringing my own bias in cause I’m dying too.

Gwen: (laughs) That happened to me with this really old man who I saw in here the other day, I was like, “are you dying?” He was really offended. Turns out he was one of the doctors.

Rupert: (laughs) What’s killing you?

Gwen: Cancer.

Rupert: Same.

Gwen: (laughs) it’s getting everyone these days.

Rupert: Yeah, sometimes I wish I hadn’t been diagnosed. Then when I died people would just be like, “He died. Cause he was human. Cause that’s what humans do.”

Gwen: Instead its “He lost his battle to cancer.” Which really only adds to death the shame of defeat in battle.

Rupert: You got any relatives?

Gwen: The usual. Two parents. Four grandparents. 

Rupert: Here with you?

Gwen: Dead. All dead.

Rupert: I’m sorry. That’s a lot of dead relatives. I guess it’s comforting knowing you’ll see them in heaven.

Gwen: Yeah. It is. But I’m also an atheist.

Rupert: Me too. I just never know what to say to people.

Gwen: I always ask their religious beliefs and mould my answer based on that, “Like, oh, shit, well, at least your dead dad gets to meet Allah.”

Rupert: You ask right after they tell you they just lost someone?

Gwen: No. Usually I sit in silence for a few minutes. Out of respect.

Rupert: I’m sorry. I should have done that.

Gwen: That’s alright. But yeah. Probably.

Rupert: How long do you have left to live?

Gwen: Doctor said six weeks. I said eight. To fuck with him. He got all nervous thinking I misunderstood him. It was pretty funny. He's a nice guy. Always asks how I'm doing, and I'm always like, "Dying. I'm dying."

Rupert: (laughs) Hey for all you know, you might have two years left. They told me six months. It's been eight. I am riding the gravy train!

Gwen: I think about marriage a lot. I never got to get married. I never got to have kids. 

Rupert: You also never got to have grandkids.

Gwen: I also never got to have grandkids. 

Rupert: Hey, me neither, but on the flipside some grandkids murder their grandparents. 

Gwen: Yeah! I heard that story too! And with an axe! Pffff So fucked up. 

Rupert: So fucked up.

Gwen: I'm glad I don't have grandkids. 

Rupert: Hey, do you want to get a drink after we both get done...you know...seeing the doctor? 

Gwen: (smiles) I'd love that. Do you drink bourbon? I only drink bourbon. 

Rupert: Not really. Is that a problem?

Gwen: Yeah. 

Rupert: ...

Gwen: ...

Rupert: ...

Gwen: I'm joking. 

Rupert: (smiles) I was about to change my drinking habits for you. 

Gwen: How sweet. 

Rupert: But then I remembered how little time I have left to live and was like fuck that. 

Gwen: (laughs) 

A lull. They both look down at their magazines. Rupert looks at Gwen and smiles. Gwen looks up just as Rupert looks down. She smiles and looks back down at her magazine.